By Fly McIntosh for Your Look, Your Life
Summer is a time when most things are in abundance: daylight hours, blooming plants, and weddings. We typically take the extended daylight and blooming plants for granted, but if you're like me, you slow down to admire the bride and bridal party. And considering there's only one bride per wedding, bridesmaids are especially plentiful.
In honor of the bridesmaid, we've sat down again with the Your Look, Your Life panel to learn some tips, tricks, hints and facts borne out of their experiences as bridesmaids. As a bridesmaid, it's your responsibility to make sure the bride feels confident and looks gorgeous; but it's equally important that you look and feel fabulous. If you're the bride-to-be, there's much for you to learn here, too!
THE JOB
Host: Youre a bridesmaid! Wait, youre a bridesmaid. Is this a great thing or ultimately just another responsibility?
Dani (Producer, age 25): It all depends on the bride. I was just a bridesmaid for one of the most low-key women I know, and that was a blast. She was really interested in making sure that we all felt comfortable about what we were wearing, responsible for, everything. Oh, and also, she was so organized that it made everything so easy for all of us in the wedding party. Literally, info packets with floor plans: It was crazy.
Lynn (Programming Executive, age 30): No, thank you! I was just a bride and upon asking my friends to be bridesmaids, the one thing they had to promise in order to be in the wedding was to not ask me to be a part of their wedding.
Dani: Thats pretty genius.
Tina (Sales Associate, age 25): I think its so great to be a bridesmaid for friends. Its like the ultimate girl event. Right now Im my sisters maid of honor and were having a blast trying to plan this thing.
THE DRESS
Host: Are you finding that the dresses are as nightmare-ish today as they used to be? And how much are you willing to put up with before you tell the bride that maybe its time to go a notch lower on that shade of pink and maybe skip the dyed shoes and headband?
Maria O. (Critical Care Educator, age 34): I think that it is so important to feel good about the dress that youre in. You dont want to look better than the bride, but you do want to feel confident. I think it is so worth it to tell her if you loathe the dress. Especially because you are going to be in a lot of pictures and you want to look good.
Lisa (Teaching Assistant, age 26): Something you should not do is what I like to call wishful tailoring. I got my dress fitted for a summer wedding last year and for some reason I thought Id be a lot thinner come wedding time. I definitely stuck out!
Dani: I was just in a wedding where the bride said that we could wear anything that was long and black. I just thought that that was the coolest thing. Everyone picked a dress -- (most from their closet, -- so no extra expense --!) that they felt good in. And it ended up looking great in all of the photos.
Germaine (Consultant, age 31): I am a bride this year, so I can give it to you from the other side. My sister is the maid of honor at my wedding and she is covered head-to-toe with tattoos and piercings. So Im doing what Im calling Summer Bridesmaid Casual: Collared, sleeveless shirts with A-line skirts. I told the girls that they could pick any color in that style. I was surprised, but everything they chose was actually conservative. My sister kindly said upon showing me her choice, "I figured it was great for people your age." Nice, right? Bottom line is I just didnt want them to look like your typical bridesmaids.
Maria S. (Junior Media Buyer, age 25): I was just at a boiling-hot outdoor wedding and, while I wasnt in the wedding, I felt for the girls who were. They were all wearing these tank top dresses in some terrible blue color that allowed everyone to see just how much they were sweating! Definitely something to think about.
Maryam (Graphic Designer, age 31): Models put rubbing alcohol in their pits to stop from sweating. Its supposed to work for a few hours.
Melissa (Writer, age 30): And now people are getting Botox shots in their pits, too. We are NOT suggesting this, though!
THE MAKEUP
Host: So if your dress is going to match six other girls, do you try to use hair and makeup to set yourself apart from the other women? Or is that not really a concern?
Maria T. (Account Executive, age 26): I think you differentiate yourself in the way you carry yourself. Everyone has her own personal style that, regardless of what youre wearing, still shines through.
Maria O.: Ive been in about ten weddings. I always get my hair and nails done because it is a special day. If youre in the wedding then its probably someone special to you, so its really good to feel good about yourself.
Pam (Client Relations Manager, age 25): Yeah, I agree. I was just a bridesmaid at my brothers wedding. It was definitely the most makeup Ive ever worn in my entire life -- combined -- but its a huge event, so you might as well go for it. I used a makeup artist and told her to do whatever she wanted. She did a really good job, but I do know that she was advised beforehand that everyone would want to be pretty low-key.
Maria T.: Makeup artists usually put so much makeup on, so if the bride really wants us to use one, I just always ask to make it look like Im not wearing any makeup.
Melissa: I usually wear a lot of black, smudged eyeliner. But for my sisters wedding I skipped that and tried to be as low-key and subtle as possible. I think its always best to just look good, but blend in. Why stand out at someone elses wedding?
Tara (Broadcast Coordinator, age 24): I definitely agree. I was just in a day wedding and put on some shimmer. That made it a little more fun, and felt very summery, but it was still understated and subtle.
Tina: I just do what they tell me as far as the makeup goes, but I ALWAYS, always put it on after my dress. Ive witnessed too many nightmares.
Consensus is in: Be diplomatic when offering your feedback and advice so the
bride will consider your say when it's time to make style decisions. In the
end, you have to comply with the bride's picks: dress, hairstyle, and
makeup. This is your girl's biggest day and you're lucky enough to help her
through it. Or, at least, let everyone think that's the sentiment in that
bridesmaid's head of yours. And don't forget to smile.
>> We want your POV! Each month, our panel of women tackles a new style situation, providing our readers with a host of insights, experiences, and advice from real women. And we'd love to have you join our panel! Fill out our POV Survey every month and your input might make it into a future POV feature!
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